A 3-Step Guide to Managing and Overcoming Anxiety
Anxiety is more than just feeling nervous before a big event or experiencing temporary worry over a stressful situation. For many, it’s a persistent, overwhelming force that affects daily life, relationships, and well-being. Whether you constantly overthink every decision, feel tightness in your chest, or experience unexpected panic attacks, anxiety can make you feel trapped in a cycle of fear and self-doubt.
But here’s the good news: Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life. By rewiring your brain, changing your response patterns, and building healthier habits, you can reduce anxiety and regain control. This guide will walk you through a three-step approach to managing and overcoming anxiety: First Aid, Maintenance, and Personality Upgrades.
Step 1: First Aid for Anxiety – Managing Immediate Symptoms
Just like anger, anxiety can spiral out of control if left unchecked. The first step in managing anxiety is learning how to regulate it in the moment. When you feel anxiety rising, ask yourself these three critical questions:
1. Is there a real problem I need to address?
Anxiety can be either rational or irrational. Rational anxiety arises from real-world concerns: waiting for an important call from your doctor, wondering if a friend is upset after an argument, or stressing over an unresolved work issue.
If your anxiety is related to a real problem, the best course of action is to take decisive steps toward resolution. Send that email, make the call, or have the necessary conversation. The goal is to address the issue directly rather than letting uncertainty amplify your worry.
If, however, there is no specific problem—just a vague feeling of unease—then it’s time to focus on self-soothing strategies to bring your nervous system back to balance. Consider:
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Taking a warm bath or shower
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Engaging in a mindful hobby (journaling, knitting, cooking, or painting)
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Doing deep breathing exercises
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Going for a brisk walk or engaging in physical movement
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Watching a calming TV show or listening to relaxing music
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The key is to distract your mind from spiraling thoughts and bring your focus to the present moment.
2. Am I safe?
If you have a history of trauma, certain triggers may cause anxiety even when no immediate danger is present. Trauma rewires the brain to perceive threats where none exist, leading to a heightened sense of fear and insecurity.
In these moments, pause and ground yourself by asking: Am I truly in danger right now? If the answer is no, remind yourself that you are safe. This simple self-check can help you separate past trauma from present reality and re-center your emotions.
3. What else am I feeling?
Anxiety often masks other emotions. If you struggle with anxiety, you may find it difficult to identify underlying feelings such as sadness, frustration, or loneliness. Take a moment to ask yourself: Is there something else beneath my anxiety?
For example, if your partner made a dismissive comment earlier, your anxiety may actually stem from feeling hurt or invalidated. Acknowledging this can help you take productive action—whether that means expressing your feelings, setting a boundary, or simply recognizing that the issue is not as catastrophic as your anxiety suggests.
Step 2: Maintenance – Building Long-Term Resilience
Managing anxiety is not just about reacting to anxious moments but preventing them from becoming overwhelming in the first place. If you’re prone to anxiety, developing healthy daily habits can significantly reduce your baseline anxiety levels. Here’s how:
1. Daily Emotional Check-Ins
Ask yourself “How am I feeling?” at various points throughout the day. If your anxiety is creeping up, intervene early with self-care strategies before it escalates.
2. Regular Exercise & Movement
Physical activity is one of the most effective tools for reducing anxiety. Whether it’s yoga, running, dancing, or simply taking a walk, moving your body helps regulate stress hormones and improves your overall mood.
3. Mindfulness & Meditation
Practicing mindfulness helps train your brain to stay in the present rather than getting lost in anxious thoughts. Try guided meditations, deep breathing exercises, or body scans to create moments of calm throughout your day.
4. Creative Outlets & Hobbies
Engaging in activities like painting, playing an instrument, writing, or crafting can help divert your focus from anxiety and provide a sense of accomplishment.
5. Seeking Professional Support
Sometimes, anxiety requires more than just self-care strategies. Therapy can help you unpack the root causes of your anxiety and develop personalized coping techniques. Walk With Me Counseling Center offers virtual therapy sessions across Illinois, making support accessible no matter where you are.
Step 3: Personality Upgrades – Changing the Way You Handle Anxiety
Beyond first aid and daily maintenance, long-term anxiety management involves deeper emotional work. Many people who struggle with anxiety tend to be:
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People-pleasers who avoid confrontation
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Self-critical and perfectionistic
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Prone to over-responsibility and guilt
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These tendencies often stem from childhood coping mechanisms. But as adults, they can contribute to chronic stress and emotional exhaustion. To break free from these patterns, consider these mindset shifts:
1. Learn to Set Boundaries
Saying “no” and prioritizing your needs isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Start practicing small acts of self-assertion, whether that means declining an invitation when you need rest or speaking up when something bothers you.
2. Stop Internalizing Other People’s Emotions
If someone is upset, it doesn’t automatically mean you are at fault or responsible for fixing it. Recognize that you can care about others without carrying their burdens.
3. Reframe Conflict as Healthy Communication
Many anxious individuals avoid conflict, fearing rejection or confrontation. However, disagreements are a normal part of relationships. Learning to express your needs and handle difficult conversations can reduce the anxiety caused by unspoken frustrations.
4. Face Your Fears, One Small Step at a Time
The paradox of anxiety is that the more you avoid what scares you, the more powerful your fears become. By gradually exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting or taking a solo trip—you train your brain to handle stress more effectively.
5. Redefine Success
If you tie your self-worth to being perfect or making others happy, you will always feel anxious. Instead, redefine success as being authentic, learning from mistakes, and prioritizing your well-being.
Taking the Next Step Toward Healing
Managing anxiety is not about eliminating all stress from your life—it’s about changing your relationship with it. Through self-awareness, daily habits, and deeper emotional work, you can transform anxiety from a constant burden into a manageable challenge.
If you’re struggling to cope with anxiety on your own, Walk With Me Counseling Center is here to help. We offer virtual therapy sessions throughout Illinois, making support accessible whether you’re in Chicago or elsewhere in the state.
Take the first step toward a calmer, more balanced life. Complete our Intake Form today and let’s work together to build a personalized plan for managing your anxiety.
Your mental health matters. Don’t let anxiety hold you back from the peace and happiness you deserve.
