5 Signs That Love is Real and Meant to Last

Love can be exhilarating, confusing, and sometimes even misleading. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of a new relationship, mistaking intensity for deep connection. Many people, like my friend Gina, find themselves questioning whether the love they experience is genuine or just another fleeting moment of passion.

Gina has always been optimistic about love, even after experiencing heartbreak multiple times. Recently, she gushed about her new boyfriend, Gary, saying, “He calls and texts me throughout the day and wants us to spend all our free time together. He’s jealous if I even look at another guy or spend time with a girlfriend. He really loves me.”

Her words triggered a sense of unease in me. It seemed like yet another case of love bombing—where excessive attention and control are disguised as affection. Gina’s previous relationship was marked by distance and infidelity, so Gary’s behavior felt like the complete opposite. But does overwhelming attention mean love is real? More importantly, how do we recognize love that is built to last?

Here are five signs that indicate true love—the kind that withstands the tests of time, challenges, and growth.

1. Love Means Showing Up—In Both the Good and Bad Times

A truly loving partner is someone who is present not just for the fun moments but also during difficult times. Real love involves unwavering support, whether it’s celebrating a career milestone or offering comfort after a tough day.

A personal story comes to mind: Two months into dating Bob, the man I would eventually marry, I came down with a terrible case of food poisoning during the holidays. It ruined our New Year’s Eve plans. I also had to cancel a lunch with my ex-boyfriend, a doctor. While my ex simply reminded me to drink fluids and rest, Bob did something unexpected—he came over to take care of me.

I was shocked. I had dated people who took me on extravagant trips and to expensive dinners, but Bob was the first person who showed up when I needed care. This was a defining moment in our relationship. Love is not just about grand gestures; it’s about being there in everyday moments, especially when life gets tough.

2. Love Means Listening—Not Just Waiting to Respond

A healthy relationship thrives on communication. But more than just talking, true love involves actively listening and valuing what the other person says. A partner who genuinely loves you will listen without dismissing your thoughts or waiting for their turn to speak. They’ll remember the little details you share, ask follow-up questions, and validate your feelings.

This also means tolerating repeated stories. Have you ever noticed how elderly couples recall the same stories fondly? That’s because love doesn’t get bored—it finds comfort in familiarity. If your partner can engage in difficult conversations and appreciate the essence of your words, your relationship has a strong foundation.

3. Love Respects Boundaries and the Need for Personal Space

Many believe that love means sharing every part of your life, but this can be unhealthy. A good relationship has room for both togetherness and individuality.

A client once shared with me that his wife insisted on accompanying him every time he met up with old friends. While she had let go of her own social circles after their marriage, she expected him to do the same. He felt suffocated.

Real love includes trust—trust that allows you to maintain personal friendships, enjoy hobbies independently, and even have moments alone without guilt. Respecting boundaries means understanding that your partner is a whole person outside of the relationship, and that’s something to celebrate, not control.

4. Love Means Sharing, Not Blaming

Every relationship will face disagreements. The way couples navigate conflict can reveal whether their love is healthy or toxic.

Instead of pointing fingers, real love means addressing concerns together. There’s a huge difference between saying, “I can’t believe you’d do that!” and “Let’s talk about this and decide what works best for both of us.”

For example, Bill and Sherry had a tough decision to make when Bill wanted to go back to college while Sherry was the sole earner. Initially, she had reservations, but instead of dismissing his dream, they discussed it together. They found a compromise—Bill continued working while taking night classes. Love isn’t about one person always sacrificing; it’s about finding solutions together.

5. Love Endures the Tough and Distant Times

One of the most heartbreaking patterns I’ve observed as a marriage and family therapist is how quickly some couples give up at the first sign of trouble. Real love isn’t just about the honeymoon phase—it’s about weathering the storms together.

Relationships naturally go through cycles of closeness and distance. Sometimes, partners feel disconnected, but that doesn’t mean the love is gone. The key is persistence and trust in the foundation you’ve built. When you truly love someone, you recognize that difficult periods are temporary and that, with effort and patience, you can always find your way back to each other.

Recognizing and Nurturing Real Love

Love is not just about butterflies, passion, or even compatibility. It’s about how two people show up for each other in the long run. If your relationship is built on genuine care, active listening, trust, respect for boundaries, and the ability to navigate conflict without blame, you’re on the right path.

On the flip side, if your relationship feels more like a rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows, it may be worth evaluating whether it’s truly built to last.

Need Help Navigating Love and Relationships?

Love can be fulfilling, but it can also bring challenges that affect your emotional well-being. If you’re struggling with relationship doubts, conflicts, or past heartbreaks, talking to a therapist can help you gain clarity and build healthier connections.

Walk With Me Counseling Center, Chicago, Illinois, is here to support you. Whether you're facing relationship challenges, struggling with trust issues, or simply need guidance in navigating love, we offer virtual therapy sessions across Illinois. No matter where you are—whether in Chicago or another part of the state—help is just a click away.

Complete our Intake Form today and take the first step toward a healthier, more fulfilling love life.

Your emotional well-being should always be a priority, and you don’t have to navigate the complexities of love alone. Let’s work together to build relationships that are truly meant to last.