3 Shocking Signs Your Friend Might Be Toxic (And How to Handle It)
Is your "friend" secretly toxic? Here's how to tell.
Ever had that one friend who always seems to call you when they need something, but when you need support, they're nowhere to be found? Or they make snide comments that leave you feeling worse every time you hang out with them. You're not alone if you've ever felt drained, used, or belittled by a friend.
Friendships are supposed to lift you up, not tear you down. So, if something feels off, it might be more than just a rough patch—it could be a toxic friendship.
Identifying the Problem:
Toxic friendships aren't just a minor inconvenience—they can seriously affect your mental and emotional health. And the hard part? These friendships often don't start out toxic. But over time, the red flags start piling up. If you've ever left a hangout feeling drained, stressed, or doubting yourself, it's time to take a closer look at the friendship.
Let's break down three major signs that your friend might actually be toxic and what you can do to protect yourself.
3 Major Signs of a Toxic Friendship:
They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
Friendships are about balance. If your relationship feels one-sided, with you constantly giving and your friend only taking, it's a clear sign of trouble. You might find yourself always offering advice, emotional support, or even doing favors, but when it's your turn to ask for help, they're suddenly unavailable.
Signs to Watch For:
They text or call only when they need a favor.
Your needs are rarely, if ever, a priority.
Acts of kindness are never reciprocated.
What to Do:
Have an honest talk about how you're feeling. Tell them what you need from the friendship.
Set firm boundaries around your time and energy.
It might be time to walk away if they don't step up.
They're Constantly Negative or Critical
True friends should lift you up, not drag you down. If your friend always has something negative to say about your life, your choices, or your goals, that's a huge red flag. Constant criticism or negativity can chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you feeling small or inadequate after every interaction.
Signs to Watch For:
They point out your flaws more than your strengths.
They seem to enjoy criticizing your choices or achievements.
They make you feel worse about yourself rather than better.
What to Do:
Set boundaries around what kind of feedback you're willing to hear.
Let them know how their words are affecting you.
Surround yourself with people who celebrate you, not tear you down.
They Use Manipulation to Get Their Way
Manipulation in friendships can be sneaky. It might show up as guilt-tripping, making you feel bad for setting boundaries or controlling how you spend your time. If your friend makes you feel obligated to always put their needs above your own, that's a sign of manipulation.
Signs to Watch For:
They make you feel guilty for saying "no."
They twist situations to always make themselves the victim.
They try to control your decisions or make you feel bad for asserting yourself.
What to Do:
Stand firm in your boundaries. If you feel manipulated, trust your gut.
Seek advice from trusted friends or family members who have your best interests at heart.
If the manipulation doesn't stop, it's okay to distance yourself from the friendship.
Ready to Break Free from Toxic Friendships? Here's How to Start:
Does any of this sound familiar? Toxic friendships can sneak up on you, slowly draining your energy and self-worth. But you don't have to stay stuck in a relationship that harms you. It's okay to step back and protect your well-being.
How to Protect Yourself From a Toxic Friendship
Recognizing these signs is the first step. The next step? Taking action. A healthy friendship should feel balanced, supportive, and uplifting. If a friend consistently makes you feel bad, it's time to set boundaries or even walk away. Remember, you deserve relationships that bring out the best in you, not the worst.
Ready to Break Free from Toxic Friendships? Here's How to Start:
At Walk With Me Counseling Center, based in Chicago, Illinois, we understand the impact toxic friendships can have on your mental health. Even though we're located in Chicago, we offer virtual therapy sessions for individuals across Illinois, so you can access support wherever you are.
Whether navigating toxic relationships or needing guidance on setting healthy boundaries, our team is here to help.
Take the first step today by completing our Intake Form and start building the healthier, more supportive relationships you deserve.
Don't wait until a toxic friendship drains your energy. If this sounds familiar, reach out today and take the first step toward finding peace and balance in your relationships. Whether you're in Chicago or anywhere in Illinois, we're just a click away with our virtual services.
